New born Soviet Man - psyche modeling system.

I cannot remember everything at once. But the main is here. The most dangerous was covered under building a new type of Psyche – Soviet Union man psyche.

That was a mix of 19 century mentality with a new system of communist perspective.

Psyche modeling: (some of the points some of you will find similar with mental grade of 18-19 century European countries)

-         Only an older person had a right to speak and support a talk.

In my family for example it was forbidden to speak together with adults. The right was given only when a concrete question was asked.

-         In a company of adults, children had no right to speak.

-         You had no right to say the teacher if you are not agreed with something. You could be easily beaten by your teacher with any kind or grade of physical harm.  

At 1^st class we had a teacher who beat us each time we sat by her mind incorrect way. On the blackboard hung a picture of a nice girl in a perfect position on the table. We had to sit exactly like her one in one. That was a real Gestapo time 1-3 class of my early school. That is a story for a long memoir of anti human way of my childhood education.

-         You had no right to be disagreed with party of Communist. (consequences were always horrible)

-         To have Lenin star was like to have a medal. (all children had to wear Lenin star from 1-3^rd class, and in 5^th class pioneer tie)

-         All had to wear the same like clothes. If you had different clothes you became capitalist enemy. Kids could bit you.

-         All had to think the same way. If you say kind a different logic people start to hate you.

-         To think differently, to express your thoughts, to analyze.

-         To use the same phrases and vocabulary of communist agenda.

 I remember vividly myself at school, always to much of a different kind, to much of self-perception, always surrounded by hate, jealousy and misunderstanding. Not like others thinking. In Donetsk it is a rear case, another thing to be in Lvov, or Kiev – land of freedoms and possibilities to express your thinking. (At least in a small circle of free people)

To express your thinking was unrecognized and evil. At the 10^th class a question of double truth made me an enemy of a new class at school I changed as a glove 3 times, running away from me.  

-         Why people celebrating their birthdays each year if with each day they grow older and come closer to dearth, health problems and oldness?

Nobody has a right to think. So I was a hate projection for all who find me doing a wrong not a soviet style way, for my independent thinking at literature lessons as well. But it was me; I could not to keep my mouth shut all the time. Meanwhile in my family I had at this time the same, when my grand mother started her day with a phrase: “Stalin was a good man, you know….”

These times have made a deep scar in my heart; a hole that will always sink me away.